{"id":1031,"date":"2017-03-15T05:06:44","date_gmt":"2017-03-15T05:06:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/?p=1031"},"modified":"2026-08-31T11:29:41","modified_gmt":"2026-08-31T11:29:41","slug":"anal-sex-for-women","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/anal-sex-for-women\/","title":{"rendered":"Anal Play for Women: Does It Mean I\u2019m a Slut?"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">Social norms and expectations are a constant subject of change and evolution. Sexual stigma and what we find to be an acceptable and healthy part of our \u201cintimate diet\u201d are things that, luckily, get re-written. This brings us to anal play for women and the notion that enjoying it makes someone a slut. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong><span class=\"s1\">Common worries about anal play<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\">There\u2019s a popular perception that anal sex is not for \u201cgood girls\u201d, that they don\u2019t do it, or at least never initiate it. The common narrative goes like this: women don\u2019t like anal sex, it\u2019s something that men want <i>of <\/i>them, and if it ever ends up happening, women are often coerced into it, or agree to do it just for the sake of fulfilling that \u201cmale fantasy\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"700\" src=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-common-worries.png\" alt=\"One of the biggest worries women have is that anal play and anal sex is only for sluts; this is completely untrue.\" class=\"wp-image-1032\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-common-worries.png 1200w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-common-worries-300x175.png 300w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-common-worries-768x448.png 768w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-common-worries-1024x597.png 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">That narrative is not only untrue, but problematic on several levels. At the outset, it raises huge issues about consent, and feeds into the toxic model of masculinity (for instance: that men have bigger libido than women, that men coerce women into engaging in certain activities in the bedroom, etc.). The idea that women don\u2019t enjoy anal sex also disempowers them and takes away their sexual agency as beings with their own sexual desires and complex sexuality. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<section class=\"bvibe-expert-quote\" aria-label=\"Expert quote from Dr. Alix Agar\">\n  <div class=\"bvibe-expert-quote__inner\">\n    <div class=\"bvibe-expert-quote__label\">Expert insight<\/div>\n\n    <blockquote class=\"bvibe-expert-quote__text\">\n      \u201cDesiring anal pleasure is a normal, healthy expression of female sexuality \u2014 it does not define your worth or character. bVibe\u2019s content and products empower women to explore without internalized shame, which is exactly the kind of sex-positive education every Certified Sex Therapist wants to see.\u201d\n    <\/blockquote>\n\n    <footer class=\"bvibe-expert-quote__footer\">\n      <strong>Dr. Alix Agar<\/strong>\n      <span>PhD in Clinical Sexology, LMFT, CST &#8211; Certified Sex Therapist<\/span>\n    <\/footer>\n  <\/div>\n<\/section>\n\n<style>\n  .bvibe-expert-quote {\n    margin: 2rem 0;\n    padding: 1px;\n    border-radius: 22px;\n    background: linear-gradient(135deg, #7b4dff, #ff6fb1);\n  }\n\n  .bvibe-expert-quote__inner {\n    position: relative;\n    padding: clamp(1.5rem, 4vw, 2.5rem);\n    border-radius: 21px;\n    background: #fff;\n    box-shadow: 0 14px 40px rgba(40, 24, 73, 0.12);\n  }\n\n  .bvibe-expert-quote__label {\n    display: inline-flex;\n    margin-bottom: 1rem;\n    padding: 0.4rem 0.75rem;\n    border-radius: 999px;\n    background: rgba(123, 77, 255, 0.1);\n    color: #5a35c9;\n    font-size: 0.82rem;\n    font-weight: 700;\n    letter-spacing: 0.03em;\n    text-transform: uppercase;\n  }\n\n  .bvibe-expert-quote__text {\n    margin: 0;\n    color: #231f2f;\n    font-size: clamp(1.15rem, 2.5vw, 1.45rem);\n    line-height: 1.55;\n    font-weight: 500;\n  }\n\n  .bvibe-expert-quote__text::before {\n    content: \"\u201c\";\n    display: block;\n    height: 0.65em;\n    color: #ff6fb1;\n    font-size: 4.5rem;\n    line-height: 0.75;\n    font-family: Georgia, serif;\n  }\n\n  .bvibe-expert-quote__footer {\n    margin-top: 1.5rem;\n    padding-top: 1rem;\n    border-top: 1px solid rgba(35, 31, 47, 0.12);\n    color: #4a4358;\n    font-size: 0.95rem;\n    line-height: 1.45;\n  }\n\n  .bvibe-expert-quote__footer strong {\n    display: block;\n    color: #231f2f;\n    font-size: 1rem;\n  }\n\n  .bvibe-expert-quote__footer span {\n    display: block;\n    margin-top: 0.15rem;\n  }\n<\/style>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Where does the stigma surrounding anal sex come from?<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">There are several major myths that contribute to the stigma that comes with anal play for women. One of them is the myth of pain. A frequently asked question is &#8220;<a title=\"how to make anal sex not hurt\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/does-anal-sex-hurt\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">how do you make anal not hurt<\/a>?&#8221;. Think of butt play as a marathon, not a sprint; of choosing the right size toy, or the proper number of fingers to be inserted; of taking things slowly and using a good amount of <a title=\"lube for anal\" href=\"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/best-anal-lube\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">anal lube<\/a>. All of these are key to positive experiences.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">The misconception of pain during anal play leads some to think that only people into BDSM do it. While anal sex or butt toys can be a fun part of kinky play, people who enjoy pain don\u2019t derive pain through anal sex. They most often participate in impact play (spanking, whipping, caning) instead (and they also have strict protocols about safety and consent, of course).<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"700\" src=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-social-stigma.png\" alt=\"There is a lot of stigma that surrounds anal play but the fact of the matter is that it can be enjoyed by anyone and everyone.\" class=\"wp-image-1033\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-social-stigma.png 1200w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-social-stigma-300x175.png 300w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-social-stigma-768x448.png 768w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-play-social-stigma-1024x597.png 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">Another reason people find anal play shameful is that nobody talks openly about butt stuff! Anal sex gets all the bad rep, and none of the praise. If we find most of the examples of women enjoying anal play in porn, and not in mainstream media or conversations, it\u2019s no wonder that we link \u201ctaking it in the butt\u201d with something taboo.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">And let\u2019s not kid ourselves. Anal sex was illegal under sodomy laws in 13 states until 2003*<\/span><span class=\"s1\">. Until the Supreme Court case of Lawrence v. Texas in 2003, ten of these states prohibited not only anal, but oral sex as well, regardless of the sex, sexual orientation, or the consent of the participants. And while we\u2019re making huge steps in the right direction, it takes time to get to a place of greater acceptance and understanding.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\">*<a href=\"https:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Sodomy_laws_in_the_United_States\">Sodomy Laws in the United States<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Anatomy of anal pleasure<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">Luckily, the actual picture of what people find pleasurable in their bedroom is very different from this common narrative. While couples might not talk about it with other people, they certainly engage in butt play. And the main reason is that it feels good!<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"700\" src=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-pleasure.png\" alt=\"The main reason why people experiment with anal play is that it feels great, and don't let anyone else tell you otherwise.\" class=\"wp-image-1034\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-pleasure.png 1200w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-pleasure-300x175.png 300w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-pleasure-768x448.png 768w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/anal-pleasure-1024x597.png 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Reasons to explore anal play<\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">There are more and more people beginning their journey of sexual exploration and experimentation. And, for some, anal sex might be the only option to engage in penetrative sex or to experience pleasure.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">Often, women can\u2019t (or are advised not to) have vaginal sex while, say, undergoing medical treatment, during a yeast infection, a UTI, or vaginismus.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1200\" height=\"700\" src=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/reasons-for-anal-play.png\" alt=\"Sometimes, anal sex may be the only option that some women might have when it comes to penetrative sex.\" class=\"wp-image-1035\" srcset=\"https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/reasons-for-anal-play.png 1200w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/reasons-for-anal-play-300x175.png 300w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/reasons-for-anal-play-768x448.png 768w, https:\/\/static.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/reasons-for-anal-play-1024x597.png 1024w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1200px) 100vw, 1200px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">Additionally, it\u2019s an unspoken fact that antidepressant and antianxiety drugs can lead to sexual side effects such as genital numbness and inability to achieve orgasm via clitoral stimulation or vaginal penetration. While we still don\u2019t know why that is, often women report that their ability to enjoy anal sex and climax through anal stimulation is less affected by medication. <\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Give yourself permission <\/b><\/span><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">Don\u2019t buy into what the outside world tells you to enjoy nor succumb to someone else\u2019s beliefs about what should feel good for your body.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp; <\/span>You might really enjoy anal play- or you might not.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp; <\/span>AND THAT\u2019S OK.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp; <\/span>Give yourself permission to experience pleasure on your terms.&nbsp;<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\"><span class=\"s1\">Because after all-<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">&nbsp; <\/span>pleasure is your birthright.<\/span><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"p1 wp-block-paragraph\">&#8211; Alicia Sinclair<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Social norms and expectations are a constant subject of change and evolution. Sexual stigma and what we find to be an acceptable and healthy part of&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":4463,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[29],"class_list":["post-1031","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-beyond-anal","tag-beginner-guide"],"acf":{"hero_style":"","body_align":"","subtitle":"","article_authors":[4773],"article_reviewer":null,"reviewed_date":null,"review_label":"","tldr_summary":"","tldr_takeaways":"","hide_toc":false,"show_publish_date":false},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1031"}],"version-history":[{"count":15,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4745,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031\/revisions\/4745"}],"acf:post":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/team_member\/4773"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4463"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bvibe.com\/anal-play-101\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}