What I Learned Selling 10,000+ Butt Plugs

Picture it: Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, 2003. A curious young weirdo with a lip ring and a turquoise faux-hawk is working the day shift at the local porno shop, and it’s the first time a toy shipment has arrived while she’s on the clock. While unboxing, she pauses when her hands take hold of a heavy plastic clamshell with a single item visible through the packaging. She has no doubt that what she’s holding is a butt plug, but the material is something she had never considered: glass. More specifically, solid borosilicate glass.

Fascination grips her as she imagines the possibilities, wonders who she can talk to, and remembers the books just beyond the leopard-print curtains that hide the videotapes behind the counter. She asks her manager if she can borrow some of the titles, including The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (1st Edition) by Tristan Taormino and the newly arrived Sex Toys 101 by Rachel Venning. The manager says yes. And that curious young weirdo’s life would be forever altered.

That curious young weirdo was me.

My Second Try at Anal

It wasn’t until I worked in that environment that I ever considered giving anal play another try. Like many folks out there, I had tried it before, but I lacked the knowledge that could have made the experience anything other than harrowing. I had a partner who wanted to do it and said he knew what he was doing, and that’s all I thought mattered. As it turned out, he didn’t know what he was doing, and not only did I not enjoy it, it was the most uncomfortable and painful experience I had ever endured… at that point in my life, anyway.

But now I had the books, I had the glass butt plug, I had the lube I knew I would need, and I had no partner pressuring me. I was on my own to explore and take my time. The books taught me that I could use any lube I wanted with a glass toy, and my fear of mess pointed me toward a silicone lube that would stay slick in water. I had a plan, a bathtub, and whatever time I needed to explore my body safely and slowly. And, well, for nearly the next year, I could not bring myself to orgasm without something in my butt.

Why Every Conversation Led to Butt Stuff

My experience is not the experience of most people. Some folks who work in this business still keep their jobs private from their loved ones, and we’re hardly the majority of the population. So I made a vow to help others the way I had learned to help myself. I absorbed every word from the vendors who trained us and asked the questions I wanted answered, so I could sprinkle that knowledge among the garden of friends who shared my questions. I wanted to help them grow, and the best way to do that was to help myself: test things out, try, and try again. Before long, I felt far more confident helping the strangers in the store who asked for the best butt plug for beginners, and beyond.

And something incredibly interesting started to happen. Folks would come in looking for a vibrator or condoms, and the conversation would always lead to butt stuff. Nearly every person, regardless of how they presented, their age, their clothing, or the time of their purchase, became interested in exploring anal play products.

Admittedly, back then we didn’t have a ton to choose from. We’re talking 23 years ago. And while there’s plenty of reason to believe we’re going back in time in harmful ways when it comes to rights, equality, and everyday safety, the landscape of pleasure products has improved significantly. Perhaps more importantly, our collective knowledge of these items and their uses has overflowed into pop culture, casual conversation, and mainstream media.

So what can you do if you’re one of the countless people on their own mission for the best beginner’s butt plug? Well, that’s what we’re here for. And by “we,” I mean the warriors of adult retail who are compensating for sex education that is lacking at best and harmful at worst.

How to Choose Your First Butt Plug

Here are some simple guidelines for choosing your first anal plug from the wide world of beginner butt plugs. For a full rundown of every type, see our anal toys guide.

Materials: Glass, Stainless Steel, or Silicone

When it comes to materials, always look for body-safe ones. The most common will likely be silicone, glass, and stainless steel.

Glass butt plugs should be borosilicate, which is more resistant to fractures and scratches. Glass toys can be placed in warm water to match body temperature, which helps the sphincter muscles relax and receive. Any lubricant can be used with glass, and it’s a breeze to clean. I love the b-Vibe Pink Roses Glass Training Set because it offers two sizes and a generous base, and the long necks let you move the plugs in and out of the body more easily than a plug with a shorter stem.

Stainless steel butt plugs, like glass, can be enjoyed with any type of lubricant. It’s often graded to medical standards, so it’s safe to use inside the body, and the weight of solid stainless steel provides the pressure and fullness people often seek in booty play. Stainless steel also offers phenomenal temperature play, because it holds a temperature longer than glass does. Don’t let the name of the b-Vibe Stainless Steel Prostate Plug fool you: it’s an amazing butt plug for beginners whether or not they have a prostate⁠. The flat loop lets it sit comfortably between the cheeks while keeping it safely anchored, and the bulbous head glides inside surprisingly easily with lube.

Silicone butt plugs often win out for beginners because they’re non-porous and firm enough for comfortable insertion while being soft enough to bring some flexibility into the mix. b-Vibe’s Beginner’s Vibrating Butt Plug and Vibrating Snug Plug 1 are best-sellers for a reason: they let you add vibration to the party, but only when you’re ready, and they’re more than enjoyable with the power off. Use water-based lubricant with silicone toys, and the thicker the lube, the better. Water-based lube may need reapplying more often than silicone lube, but it’s safe for silicone toys and much easier to clean up. It also absorbs into the skin more easily, so it’s less of a slippery mess.

Size: Start Just Bigger Than a Finger

If you’re just starting out and haven’t even had a finger inside, start there. A butt plug whose widest part is the same as, or slightly bigger than, your index finger is a good rule of thumb. Er, you know what I mean.

If you’ve used a finger with no issue, consider going slightly bigger with your first anal toy. The average adult index finger is 1.5 to 2 cm in diameter, so look for something a tad larger than that. You may be doing better than you think already. But remember: the base of your butt plug should always be wider than the widest part of the plug itself. No exceptions!

Goals: What Do You Want the Plug to Do?

When shopping for your first butt plug, think about your end goal. Are you looking for a plug that will be an accessory to your existing sex life? Do you want anal training toys to help train your body to receive something larger, like a strap-on or a penis? Do you want something that can do it all?

I recall working with a customer at Déjà Vu who came in looking for a first butt plug, and when I asked their goal, they quickly replied, “My boyfriend has a huge dick!” So with that, we ventured into the products that would help them train their body for such a massive… experience.

• To wear during other play: b-Vibe Snug Plugs are amazing to wear during front-body stimulation like vaginal penetration, hand jobs, and oral sex. They’re weighted with metal balls encased in silicone and have a slender neck and saddle base that won’t get in the way.
• To train for something bigger: the Butties Slide is a non-vibrating, solid silicone butt plug that helps the sphincter stay more open with movement, getting it prepped for something larger to follow. The finger ring on the end of the Butties range also works as a vibrator loop, so you can turn any Butties plug into a vibrating toy if and when the mood strikes.

Your Body: There’s No One Plug to Rule Them All

Listen, there is no ONE BUTT PLUG TO RULE THEM ALL, but there are some that work for a lot of different bodies. Depending on your anatomy, some will work better than others. If you have a prostate, you may find the curves and bulbs of prostate toys more pleasurable. If you have a big ol’ booty, it might be more comfortable to use large butt plugs with a larger base and a longer insertable length.

If you’re prone to fissures or hemorrhoids, I strongly suggest talking with a doctor first, and staying with more slender, smooth toys until you’re confident you can safely move up to larger items with more texture.

At the end of the day, your bodily autonomy means you can get to know yourself in a way that informs your decisions, far beyond your first butt plug. Everyone deserves access to pleasure, and the better you know yourself, the easier these purchases become.

Butt Plug FAQ

How big should my first butt plug be?

If you’ve never used a finger, start with something no more than 2 cm across at its widest, with a flared base larger than that.

What materials should I look for?

Silicone, borosilicate glass, or stainless steel, and whichever you choose, it should be seamless.

What shapes should I consider?

It depends on your goal. If you want to wear a butt plug as an addition to playtime, a slender neck and a flared base that won’t get in the way are key. If you’re training for penetration from a dildo or penis, look for something with a thicker neck and more length to move in and out of the body.

What's the one rule every butt plug should follow?

Every butt plug should have a flared base. And always, always, always use lube and take your time!

Why Every Body Has a Butt

When I started in this business in 2003, the options were more limited, but I had placed myself in the eye of the proverbial pleasure storm. Now, over 23 years later, with seemingly endless options, I can confidently say I found my way to the leading anal pleasure company, and that’s largely why. What attracted me to b-Vibe as a company to work for was the same thing that attracted me to them before that: the scope of sizes, shapes, materials, functions, and education available for the anal-curious among us.

Here at b-Vibe, we champion the idea that Every Body Has a Butt. We continue to offer a growing assortment of anal play products that don’t limit the user, but instead offer a diverse collection of booty goalposts for everyone on the never-ending anal pleasure journey.