Anal sex is genuinely having a moment. Never in recent history has butt play been talked about so openly or actively. Yet, there remains a ton of misinformation, negative stigma, and unfortunate first-time experiences that continue to deter many folks from adding anal onto their pleasure menu.
The truth is that anal is a whole other option for pleasure and can produce some pretty mind-blowing orgasms. The key to making anal play pleasurable is education. It's not rocket science, but it does require preparation and knowledge. Read ahead to learn all our tips and tricks on anal hygiene and how to prepare for anal sex. We've got your backside covered.
NEW TO ANAL?
try it alone first!
When it comes to first time anal, feeling a finger, toy, or penis can be an unfamiliar sensation. Practicing solo anal play gives you the chance to be both the giver and the receiver, which is super helpful when you add another person to the mix.
Knowing how anal masturbation feels on both sides of the experience can make things work better when you're with a partner. A lot of people discover that they're better givers when they know what it's like to receive, and vice versa.
Read our guide on how to anal masturbate and learn how to get started with solo anal play. But before you go check that out, you'll want to learn how to prep for anal play first!
When it comes to first time anal, feeling a finger, toy, or penis can be an unfamiliar sensation. Practicing solo anal play gives you the chance to be both the giver and the receiver, which is super helpful when you add another person to the mix.
Knowing how anal masturbation feels on both sides of the experience can make things work better when you're with a partner. A lot of people discover that they're better givers when they know what it's like to receive, and vice versa.
Read our guide on solo anal and learn how to get started with anal masturbation. But before you go check that out, you'll want to learn how to prep for anal play first!
Anal hygiene is one of the most common concerns that people have about anal play. Type in "Anal Hygiene" or "How do porn stars prepare for anal?" on Google, Quora or Reddit, and you'll find the same tips shared over and over again.
Prepping for anal is simple and comes down to common sense. Here's our certified 5 step guide on how to prep for anal:
Anal hygiene is one of the most common concerns that people have about anal play. Type in "Anal Hygiene" or "How do porn stars prepare for anal?" on Google, Quora or Reddit, and you'll find the same tips shared over and over again.
Prepping for anal is simple and comes down to common sense. Here's our certified 5 step guide on how to prep for anal:
KEEP IT CLEAN BEFORE ANAL PLAY!
EASY CLEAN: Go to the bathroom 30-60 minutes before anal play. Empty your bowels and wash the anal area with regular soap and warm water. Unscented, hypoallergenic baby wipes are a great alternative. For most people, this method of cleaning is enough.
DEEP CLEAN: For the very best experience, make sure to use a bulb enema 1-2 hours before anal play. You only need to use a couple cups of water because you’re just rinsing out the last 6-8 inches (15-20 cm) of the rectum. If you use too much water, you can stimulate your digestive system and make things messier.
You’ll want to use warm water, so check it against your wrist. Too cold and you’ll cramp. Too hot and you’ll irritate the tissues. Be sure to use water you’d drink. If you filter your tap water, use filtered water for an enema.
USE A TOWEL DURING ANAL
An easy way to help keep things clean is to put a towel down on the bed before you get started. It’ll stop your bedsheets from being stained and help collect any lube, body fluids, and fecal matter.
If anal play does get messy, the towel is there for you. After you've finished, fold your towel up and put it in the laundry.
TRY GLOVES FOR FOREPLAY
Although some people think they interrupt the flow of a date night, using gloves or finger condoms is an efficient way to keep anal play clean. They’re also perfect for giving an anal massage, which stimulates the erotic nerve endings located at the anal opening and prepares the body for penetration.
You can get a box of gloves at the drugstore, though they don’t always look super sexy. Tattoo artists use gloves that are thinner than medical gloves, and they come in black, which is a lot hotter.
"Never go from anal play to vaginal play without cleaning up first […], ‘double-dipping’ from the anus to vagina is a sure fire way to give yourself or your partner an unpleasant infection."
Latex gloves fit best and are often less expensive, but some people are sensitive to latex, especially for anal play. Plus, latex is not compatible with oils. Nitrile gloves work great, and you can use oil-based lubricants with them. There can be some variation in glove sizes, even within one box. If you put on a glove and it’s loose enough to have wrinkles, discard it and try a new one. Folds in the glove will irritate the anus.
Lastly, a lot of people discover that after a couple of awesome anal play sessions, watching a lover put on a glove becomes foreplay. Make it sexy by telling your partner how much fun you’re about to have with them. Tell them that you can’t wait to get your hands on them. It’ll make a big difference.
FINGER COTS
Also referred to as, “finger condoms” these little guys slip over your fingers for quick and clean lubing and fingering. Finger cots are less cumbersome than using gloves and can be easily and quickly removed during play without interrupting the mood. Plus, they act as a great barrier for lessening scratches from nails and help protect the wearer’s skin as well as the receiver’s anus from bacteria.
Don’t go from butt to vag without cleaning up!
Never, ever go from anal play to vaginal play without cleaning up first. It's perhaps one of the most important tips when it comes to anal hygiene.
'Double-dipping' from the anus to vagina is a sure-fire way to give yourself or your partner an unpleasant infection. If you’re going to have vaginal intercourse after anal play, make sure that lubricant, oil or body fluid doesn’t get transferred from the anus to around the vagina or onto the penis.
If anal play gets messy, stay calm and positive
While the anal hygiene tips above will reduce the chances of accidents, they can still happen, so it’s best to be realistic about that.
For some people, it means ending their sexual session. For others, it means cleaning up, taking a quick shower, and then doing something different once they get back into bed. You and your partner get to decide what feels best for you.
The important thing is not to get too freaked out about it. Yes, it can be a hassle. But it doesn’t have to turn into a disaster. Keep calm, clean things up, and move forward. If you make it a big deal, it becomes a big deal. If you stay calm, then it doesn’t become a disaster. Keeping a positive mindset will go a long way.
Education on the subject of anal hygiene is super important, and that's why we've compiled the most frequently asked questions for you.
How do I use a douche/enema?
Rinsing out can take some practice, so the first few times you do it give yourself plenty of time.
It's also a good idea to prep a couple of hours in advance if you can. Why? Because water can get trapped in the folds of the rectum and can take a little time to come out. So make sure to stay near a bathroom until it does.
STEP 1
Rinse the douche or enema that you’re using, wash the nozzle, and fill the bulb with warm water.
STEP 1
Rinse the douche or enema that you’re using, wash the nozzle, and fill the bulb with warm water.
STEP 2
Screw the nozzle to the bulb and lubricate the nozzle.
STEP 2
Screw the nozzle to the bulb and lubricate the nozzle.
STEP 3
Rest on your elbows and knees or lie on your side. Insert the nozzle and squeeze the bulb.
STEP 3
Rest on your elbows and knees or lie on your side. Insert the nozzle and squeeze the bulb.
STEP 4
Hold the water for 10-15 seconds and release it into the toilet. You can repeat this step a few times if you like. You can try holding in the water while refilling the bulb. Repeat and then release all the water at once.
STEP 4
Hold the water for 10-15 seconds and release it into the toilet. You can repeat this step a few times if you like. You can try holding in the water while refilling the bulb. Repeat and then release all the water at once.
STEP 5
Cleanse the nozzle and bulb immediately with a mild soap. Let it dry, and then store away. Now you're ready to play!
STEP 5
Cleanse the nozzle and bulb immediately with a mild soap. Let it dry, and then store away. Now you're ready to play!
As we’ve discussed in our article on Enema Play, enemas and douching are not the same thing. Douches don’t push the water as deep as enemas and are typically done for general cleaning or prepping for anal play. They also primarily clean by using water and pressure rather than chemicals.
Enemas are designed to go further and deeper into the intestines to fully flush out your bowels. They generally are much more intense and used to relieve medical issues and constipation. Some enemas use chemicals to induce contractions or break down feces within your bowels, making it much easier to push out. However, frequent use of enemas can rid your gut of valuable and healthy bacteria and do harm to your overall digestion.
SHOWER SHOTS
Another convenient and quick way of ridding visitors from your backdoor is a shower shot. While incredibly convenient and effective, shower shots can cause irritation to your insides if you don’t know how to regulate the pressure and temperature of your shower which can cause discomfort or, in extreme cases, prolapse.
It is very important before using a shower shot that you fully master control of the pressure in your shower and make sure you listen to your body while using it.
BODY HAIR: Should I shave my butt or go au naturel?
As we wrote in our complete guide to analingus, there is no right answer. It's all about what you feel comfortable doing.
PROS: Some people love the sight, scent, and even texture of body hair. Ask your partner what they're into and also consider what you like. If you're not down to shave or wax your b-hole, you don't have to.
CONS: Fecal matter. Yes, it can get stuck in your butt hair, but you can avoid this by simply washing your crack before anal play. That's the first golden rule of anal hygiene.
LASER HAIR REMOVAL
Laser hair removal exposes your hair follicles to laser light that destroys them, preventing the production of hair and greatly lessening future hair growth. While effective, the process is not permanent and can require multiple visits before achieving your results.
ELECTROLYSIS
Electrolysis is another alternative that involves a trained electrologist threading a thin wire under the surface of the skin to zap hair roots and entirely destroy them. While the process can be more painful than lasers and takes longer to see results, it is the most permanent form of safe hair removal.
“Practicing safe sex also means arming yourself with knowledge about STIs and how to prevent them."
A healthy diet means better anal sex. And while there are no specific studies on food and anal play, it comes down to eating the right amount of protein and fiber. Protein hardens up the poop, but fiber makes it so that it’s not as challenging to push out. Fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and nuts are all excellent sources of fiber.
Avoid coffee, caffeinated drinks, or drinking an excessive amount of alcohol. Water is your best friend and will help keep your bowel movements regular.
Yes, but only if you are in a monogamous relationship and you and your partner have tested clean for STIs (sexually transmitted infections).
However, the truth is that anal sex without a condom is not 100% safe even if you’re both ‘clean.’ This is why our team of sex educators recommend practicing safe sex — Traditionally, folks think this only means using condoms and other barrier methods such as dental dams and gloves during sex and sexual activity, but it's about way more than that.
Practicing safe sex also means arming yourself with knowledge about STIs and how to prevent them. Knowing your status and learning how to have that all-important conversation with partners new and old about your STI status, preferred barriers and boundaries. Gives you a strong foundation to having an amazing anal play experience, while ensuring that everyone involved can make better choices for their health and safety.
Guide to safe sex — The things you wish you knew before having first-time anal sex
SAFETY: IS IT OK TO HAVE ANAL WITH AN ANAL FISSURE?
NO! As noted in our article on Anal Fissures, you need to stop putting things up your butt when you have anal fissures. Allowing a fissure to heal fully is important so that you can get back to not only having a comfortable day-to-day life, but to resume bottoming!
Depending on the severity of your anal fissure, you may need to consult a doctor regarding prescription suppositories or even anal botox to fully diminish a fissure.
The best tips for anal fissures is to never get them in the first place! You can do this by properly dilating, not over-douching, and avoiding poppers to keep your booty hole from accepting more than it can accommodate.
Now that you've mastered anal hygiene and decided that you want to try anal play, telling your partner is the next step. Below, we've gathered some tips on how to make that talk go as smooth as possible.
Don’t make anal a surprise!
While many people love anal sex and would enjoy adding it to their sexual repertoire, not everyone does. Some people have never tried it. Some people have tried it, and it didn't work out due to discomfort or pain. Others have had partners pressure them into it. And unfortunately, some people have experienced sexual trauma with anal play.
"Consent is vital in all play, and surprising your partner with a new sexual experience is never a good idea." - Alicia Sinclair, Certified Sex Educator & Founder of b-Vibe
Talk with your partner before anal play
The best time to bring up the topic is when you aren't having sex. If your partner isn't into anal play, for any reason, that talk will be a lot easier when there isn't a lot of erotic energy going on. One useful way to lead up to the conversation is to say something like:
"I'm sort of curious about anal sex, and I've been reading about it online. Is that something that you'd be interested in exploring?"
"One of the most common reasons for uncomfortable or painful anal play is not knowing how to do it right. You can offer your partner a lot of reassurance during your anal talk by telling them you’ve been doing your research."
Give your partner time to think about anal play
Some folks will be an enthusiastic yes. But others might need some time to think about it, especially if they've had uncomfortable experiences in the past. If their answer isn't an immediate yes, tell your partner that you don't want to pressure them at all. Ask them if they'd like to take some time to decide.
Be sure to give your partner that time. Don’t rush them and don’t try to “accidentally” include anal play when you have sex with them. You might find it easier to pick a time to circle back and see how they feel. Give them a few days or maybe a week before raising the topic again.
Offer them info on anal play
One of the most common reasons for uncomfortable or painful anal play is not knowing how to do it right. You can offer your partner a lot of reassurance during your anal talk by telling them that you've been doing your research.
Our anal play advice section covers over 25 different articles answering questions like: “Does anal hurt?”, “What is a butt plug?”, to more specific questions like: “I’m a heterosexual man, and I like it when people play with my butt, does that make me gay?” or “As a woman, does liking anal sex make me a slut?”
If your partner says no to anal play
It can be disappointing if your partner decides that they don't want to try anal play. That feeling is understandable, and it's essential not to let that damage your relationship.
If your partner isn't into anal sex, do your best not to pressure them or try to convince them to change their mind. That's far more likely to cause problems than improve things. The best thing you can do is thank your partner for being honest with you about what they want.
The best thing you can do is thank your partner for being honest with you about what they want. You can also ask them to tell you what makes them not want to try it. There might be some middle-ground for you to compromise. For example, if your partner says that they’ve tried anal sex and it hurt, you can let them know that you’re also interested in exploring external touch, without any penetration. You can practice anal training (hint: see below), or guide them to our anal play advice section.
If your partner has a firm limit around anal play, the best thing to do is accept that and look for other ways to enjoy sex together. Remember, there are lots of ways to have sex, and anal play is only one option.
If your partner says yes to anal!
Congrats! You and your partner are one step closer to experiencing the joys of anal play. However, there are still a few more things to talk about first. Here are some questions to ask them:
• “Have you done anal before?”
• “Have you ever used anal toys?” (Check out our ginormous guide on anal toys.)
• “What is it about anal play that you enjoy (or are curious about)?”
These simple questions will give you some useful info about your partner’s desires. For example, if anal play turns them on because it feels taboo to them, that’s different from enjoying it because of the physical sensations. The more you know about why your partner wants to have anal sex, the more you can create an experience that will leave you both smiling.
rookie mistakes to avoid during first time anal sex
We're almost there! But before you go, here are nine anal play mistakes that you don’t want to make.
Aftercare is the act of taking care of your partner after sex. It thanks our partners for sharing themselves with us, and reminds them that our concern for their pleasure and well-being doesn't stop with the orgasms.
Anal sex aftercare doesn't need to be overly sentimental or grand — it just needs to be an intentional display of appreciation and responsibility.
Whatever you do, follow our general aftercare rule that the higher you fly, the softer you should pad the landing. While gently fingering someone's ass might require a simple "How's your tush feeling?", a long session of anal penetration will likely require much more.
And that's all there is to it! Enjoyed this article on anal hygiene? You'll love our brand new guides on anal training, analingus tips (that's oral sex on the anus!), prostate orgasms, and stainless steel sex toys. p.s. Head on over to our sister-brand Le Wand to learn why wand vibes are rapidly becoming everyone's favorite sex toy.
Play it safe and sensual with this lube-friendly finger cot that allows you to explore anal fingering easily. Finger cots also provide a sanitary way to use your hands for massaging the anus.
Recognizable from our award-winning Anal Training Kit, this classic bulb enema set is the quintessential purchase for fans of anal play. It includes everything you need to prepare for anal sex.
