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If you have a prostate or if you partner with people who have prostates, you've probably wondered what all the buzz is about prostate play.
Prostate stimulation is one way to expand your pleasure possibilities and it has some wonderful health benefits! Whether you're looking for deeper, more full-body orgasms, or to release toxins from the body (among other benefits) stimulating and milking the prostate is definitely something to consider including in your solo pleasure or partner sex.
What is the prostate?
The prostate, also known as the P-spot, is a gland located behind the root of the penis, and below the bladder. It surrounds the urethra, which is the tubing through which urine and semen exit the body.
Physiologically, the function of the prostate is to secrete a fluid that combines with sperm to form semen during ejaculation. This gland, which is roughly the size of a walnut, is about 3-4 inches inside the rectum, towards the front of the body, i.e. between your butt and your penis. When you're aroused, your prostate will fill up with prostatic fluid and become larger and easier to find. It'll also become more receptive to touch but more on that in a second.
Why does prostate play feel good?
Prostate play and anal play, in general, can bring additional elements to your existing sex life. Besides exposing your body to new kinds of pleasure, or introducing new positions, sex toys, or possibly dynamics into your partner sex, prostate play also leads to a different type of orgasm than penile stimulation does...
Many people who've experienced prostate orgasms describe the sensation of prostate stimulation as being similar to the feeling they have when they're about to have an orgasm from genital sex. This means that the entire process of stimulating the prostate can evoke a physical and emotional response similar to what happens when you're about to come. Additionally, prostate stimulation can lead to orgasms that are frequently described as deeper or full-body orgasms, and not just localized to the penis or genital area. Similar to how we often hear people with vulvas describe G-spot orgasms, a P-spot orgasm can offer a deep sense of release, and orgasmic responses and muscle contractions that resonate further in the body. Pretty cool, right?
Prostate orgasms can also often happen without ejaculation, resulting in a much shorter refractory period than penile orgasms. That means the break in play between orgasms is much shorter, and many people find that they can learn to be multi-orgasmic by focusing on prostate play.
You mentioned health benefits earlier, what's that all about?
Studies have shown that regularly milking the prostate, or massaging the prostate to release prostatic fluid, can help reduce the risk of prostate cancer. Releasing prostate fluid also flushes out the gland, and relieves inflammation and pressure in the pelvic area. Increasing blood flow in the area can also increase elasticity, strengthen the pelvic floor, and help prevent erectile challenges over time.
This all sounds great, but how do I go about stimulating my/ my partner's prostate?
As we mentioned earlier, the more aroused you are, the more engorged your prostate will become, and the better direct stimulation will feel. Start with some foreplay, manual, oral, or genital stimulation. Remember to use lots of lube every step of the way.
Once you're really turned on, you can bring more focus to the prostate. Begin by massaging the perineum (aka the taint or gooch/ the space between your balls and anus) externally with a well-lubricated flat fingertip or two. Use the pad of your finger to gently rub the taint. Add some rhythmic external pressure for massage, or push up gently and rub firmly. You should be able to feel this massage all the way to the underside of your prostate. Now is a good time to introduce some vibration, as well. When choosing a beginner anal toy, getting something that offers vibration is often a great choice because you can use the vibration on the taint and anus, even if you choose not to insert the toy at all. The Novice Plug
is a great starter plug that offers a number of vibration settings.
Warm up is essential to pain-free, relaxed, and pleasurable anal play. Once you're ready for penetration, insert the Novice Plug, or a finger or two to get the body accustomed to the sensation of having something inside. If you want to amp up your pre-prostate anal play, you can also try incorporating the Rimming Plug 2
, which not only vibrates internally, it also has rotating beads at the neck which create a sensation that feels like rimming right at the anal opening.
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For your focused prostate massage, remove the toys and insert a finger and feel around to find the prostate. Since the prostate is closer to the front of the body, curling your fingers and pointing them towards the same side of the body as the balls is a good way to angle towards the gland. You should be able to feel an engorged almost plum-like area. That's the prostate!
If you're exploring your partner's prostate, emphasize communication every step of the way. Check in about the amount of pressure, the rhythm of your motions, or the way in which you're moving your fingers. Try different techniques, such as pressing against the prostate and pulling forward in a milking motion. Curl your fingers in a come-hither motion, and maintain a constant rhythm. Without poking, use the pads of your fingertips to tap or rub in smaller and larger circles around the prostate. Find what works for your partner, and keep at it. Exploring the perks of prostate play can lead to a deeper understanding of your or your partner's orgasmic potential and introduce to a whole new type of orgasm.
Now that you know a little more about the perks of prostate play and some of the basics, check out our more detailed guide on how to give a prostate massage
. If you're ready to progress, you'll also want to bookmark our sex educator's best tips on preparing for anal sex