Pleasure for Trans Women can be a difficult topic to find information on. And the importance of knowing how to navigate pleasure can mean avoiding health issues. Dr. Brenda Rodriquez Alegre, a Psychologist, Gender Studies Lecturer, and Trans Woman, discusses anatomy and why it is important to activate your prostate regularly.
The following article is written a pre-op Trans Woman. The experiences and information, as well as recommendations presented here, may not appeal to every person of transgender experience out there, nor do we claim that we are go-to-experts on sexual health. Please proceed with an open mind as well as criticality and we recommend you see your doctor or specialists in case of doubts and for further information.
As Trans People, specifically Trans Women, women with or without penises or AMAB (assumed or assigned male at birth), or the partner of a Trans Person, you may have heard of the potential or possible health benefits of using sex toys as well as the acts of pleasure towards prostate health. Whether you are pre-op, post-op, or non-op, the prostate gland for someone AMAB remains even for those who underwent gender-affirming surgeries. How well do you know your prostate gland, and what bearing does this knowledge have when your primary goal is the euphoria experienced in sex?... well, for some :). By the way, the recommendations we share here are not just for women of trans experience, but for their partners as well.
The prostate gland is located some 4 centimeters or so from the rectum, just below the urinary bladder and above the urethra surrounding it by the pelvic floor through the perineum or "taint". This region deserves much care as it has been recommended for AMAB and those with prostate glands seek medical screening, especially in their 40s and up.
Some of the potential health concerns in this area would be pelvic pain, erectile dysfunction, prostate infection (prostatitis), and prostate enlargement (benign prostatic hyperplasia). According to urologists, prostatitis and BPH can be erroneously diagnosed if not screened early. Some of these symptoms can be checked by highly reliable medical sources, but the most important is to consult your urologist or doctor.
One of the important functions of the prostate is the production of prostatic fluid, which is among the components of semen. Whether this is for reproductive functions or sexual pleasure, the prostate plays that important function along with its muscles ensuring the release of fluid. In some cases, the fluid may not be fully released, or if it backflows and the surrounding areas are infected with bacteria, it can potentially lead to prostatitis. Some doctors have recommended prostate screening and, in some cases, even prostate massage. Prostatic massage (sometimes referred to as prostate milking) can involve either inserting one's fingers through the anus and following some recommended techniques to gently massage the prostate or through sensual maneuvers during anal sex.
So to put that together, we are not just looking at prostate massages as potentially beneficial to prostate health, but that massaging the prostate has been known to give a pleasurable sensation. This can work for you and your partner/s if you have a prostate gland.
Yes, because as we know, in gender-affirming surgery (bottom surgery, genital reconstruction, etc.), the prostate gland is retained, as removing this may cause some damage to the surrounding nerves. In this state, the prostate can still produce the prostatic fluid and, if the testicles have been removed, the ejaculate released may be devoid of sperm but still has prostatic fluid. Some Trans Women over the years have revealed that even at this stage, they can experience pleasure when the prostate is being massaged either by their fingers, their partners, their partners' penises, or by using sex toys.
As the prostate is retained, its health should be our utmost concern. As a Trans Woman in my mid-40s, I have been monitoring my prostate health by seeing my urologist every year and through some screening procedures, including PSA tests and scheduled lower abdominal ultrasounds. My doctor has suggested that I have a healthy approach to my sex life and this includes protected sex, the use of tapered sex and pleasure toys that are safe for anal play, genital wash and cleansers, and full release of my ejaculate.
According to personal accounts of Trans Women as well as scientific literature, the prostate gland can be affected by ongoing and continuous hormone therapy. 5 Alpha reductase (a steroid metabolite used in hormone therapy) is sometimes noted to cause shrinkage of the prostate gland, which can also lead to a change in libido or, as some have accounted, penile shrinkage. But to be clear, even if you are on hormones, it does not guarantee total shrinkage of the prostate or protection from prostate cancer and other related problems. For some people, their prostate problems may have begun prior to transitioning, and in others, hormones are not enough to evade potential prostate gland concerns. Hence it is always best to work with your doctor to monitor prostate health at least annually.
This discussion can be disconcerting or sometimes unsettling for some of us Trans Women. I have been in stages of my transition where I abhor using masculine terms to refer to my body parts and sexual activities and some Trans Women I know have also felt this way. Hence this article has not been easy to write and if you are reading it now, my primary goal is to remind you to care for your bodies well and partner with the best doctors out there. But I also know that our journeys as Trans, AMAB, and non-binary people, among many other identities and labels, are different, unique, and truly personal. We can use different ways to label our bodies and experience, but it matters that you know some critical information pertaining to health and from there consider possible ways to also appreciate how sexual pleasure can be both sensational and beneficial.
Caution should be taken when trying to do milking or a prostate massage. We remind you how important cleanliness and anal hygiene is and, if it is your first time, take it really slow. As they say, practice makes perfect.
P-spot (Prostate) orgasms could be very euphoric. As it can elicit some discomfort initially, it is very important to be relaxed and patient. Be aware that you can sometimes feel the sensation of peeing or needing to pee when you do a prostate massage. When practicing prostate massaging, it is important to note that the anus does not create its own lubricating fluids, so the proper lubricant is essential for comfortable and safe anal massaging.
Not using the proper lubricant can result in anal fissures or anal scarring. For penile to anal sex, fingering, or using toys made of materials such as stainless steel or glass dilators, a silicone lubricant has the most viscosity and is the most comfortable lubricant for anal play. However, silicone lubricants can cause silicone toys to break down over time. If you are using a silicone toy, a water-based lubricant is best to elongate the lifespan of your pleasure products.
Extra care should also be taken for those who have press-on nails. The skin around the anus as well as the internal sphincter walls is very delicate and can be easily cut by long or press-on nails. As well, press-on nails can cause hygiene issues as residue can get stuck under the nail, or the nail can risk falling off within the anus. To prevent this, we recommend using finger cots to help prevent cuts and to protect the nail from falling off or retaining bacteria. If you are looking for a protective barrier that also provides heightened sensations or texture for massage, the Oxballs Finger Play Glove can provide both pleasure and protection for those with longer nails.
Some of the known approaches or techniques of massaging and milking the prostate are:
Mimicking a come hither motion with your finger once inserted gently in your anus and curling it up.
Mimicking the motion of pressing a doorbell. Let your finger gently press against the prostate, adding pressure as you move along the anal wall against the prostate.
Just like lathering your face with moisturizer, gently move the finger in a circling motion around the prostate and add variations such as clockwise, then counter-clockwise.
Adding vibration to your prostate massage can both heighten the pleasure of your prostate massage as well as illicit a deeper and more impact relaxation of the prostate. Toys such as the b-Vibe Novice are a great choice for beginners who are looking for extra vibrations with their massage. For those who are more advanced, the Rimming Plug Petite or the b-Vibe Rimming Plug 2 gives multi-zonal sensations for both the prostate as well as the anus through rimming (oral sex on the anus), providing greater relaxation and simultaneous stimulation of your erogenous zones.
Your positions during any of these techniques whether alone or with a partner can enhance other anal sex positions to both exercise your prostate as well as provide immense pleasure.
I cannot stress enough how important it is to learn more about sexual health and in this case, prostate health. Muster the courage to see your doctor and have a very open conversation so they can guide you well and provide all the needed mastery towards this issue. It is a journey for some of us Trans Women to accept our bodies but it is important that along with sexual and sensual pleasure, we must also pay an equal amount of importance to health and that fortunately in some cases, health and sexual pleasure can go hand in hand.
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