Solo anal play is one of the best, and most comfortable, ways to get started with anal pleasure.
Sure, exploring anal play with a partner is a lot of fun and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when you’re on your own, you can experiment with different things, or stop and start anytime you want, without needing to navigate things with someone else.
When it comes to first time anal, feeling a finger, toy, or penis can be a very surprising sensation. Practicing solo anal play gives you the chance to be both the giver and the receiver, which is super helpful when you add another person to the mix.
Knowing how anal masturbation feels on both sides of the experience can make things work better when you’re with a partner. A lot of people discover that they’re better givers when they know what it’s like to receive, and vice versa.
A good way to get started with your solo exploration is by setting the stage. Many folks fall into the habit of anal fingering or masturbating as quickly and quietly as possible, usually because they learned that it was the best way to not get caught when they were teenagers. But that’s definitely not the most effective way to explore solo anal play.
Turn on some mood lighting or set up some candles. Put some of your favorite sexy music on. Get out your toys and lube, just as if you were creating an enticing place for a lover. Start off with some self-pleasure, and take your time with it. Raise some erotic heat before you add anal play.
When you’re ready, lie on your back with your feet on the bed and your knees bent. Try having your knees up or lay them out to the sides. Find a position that gives you easy access to your anus. You can also use a mirror to help you see and notice the different sensations when you touch your anus.
If you prefer to use a glove to keep your hand clean, this is a good time to put it on. Folks with vulvas (external part of the female genitalia) should decide which hand to use for anal play and be careful to not touch the vulva with it. You need to be a little more careful about that since you don't want to get any body fluids from the anus into the vagina.
Get some lubricant on your fingers and massage around the outside of your anus. Try doing lighter touch, and then add a little more pressure. See how it feels to focus on just one spot or trace circles around the entire opening. Are there places that feel more sensitive? Are there places that it feels better to touch?
Place your fingertip over the opening and take a deep breath. Can you feel the anus expand and soften as you inhale? Can you feel it contract as you exhale? Not everyone can so don't worry if you don't. It’ll usually happen with some practice. If you can feel the anus relax as you inhale and squeeze as you exhale, you’ve discovered one of the best ways to make anal penetration easier: deep, slow breathing.
Don’t forget to keep the erotic energy going. Stroke your genitals with your other hand or use a vibrator. It might take some practice to do both at the same time, but it’ll pay off. Follow the pleasure and see where it leads you.
You can do most of the external massage moves to yourself, so try stroking your anus, pulsing your fingers, finger walking, or making circles. You can read more about those techniques on the 'how to give a great anal massage' page. And when you’re ready to try penetration, you can use the same moves that you’d do with a partner. Remember to go slow and focus on pleasure. If something doesn’t feel good or if you need to back off, no problem. You can always come back to this in a little bit.
Keep going with the other self-pleasuring you’re doing. As you get more turned on, does the anal play feel different? Are there moments when your anus squeezes or relaxes? Are there patterns to pay attention to? Different people have different experiences with that, so knowing how your body works will make it easier if you want to do this with someone else.
If you bring yourself to orgasm, you’ll probably notice that your anus squeezes at the same time. What happens afterward? Do the muscles relax and open up? Do they tighten down? Knowing that can help you enjoy receiving anal play with a partner. If you tighten down, you might need them to slow down or hold still after you orgasm. That’s super helpful information to have.
When you know more about your body and you know more about how anal pleasure feels, it’ll be much easier to try anal play with a partner. Plus, you might discover that you enjoy including anal stimulation during your solo sex. And in the end, this is all about feeling good. All it takes is a little information and some practice to make the most of your pleasure!