Happy Bi Visibility Day to all our proudly bisexual and exploratory bi-curious peeps out there! Whether you're out and proud or unsure of where you stand on the scale of gender attraction, today is your day to be unabashedly you.
Liking both folks with vaginas and folks with a penis -- regardless of your gender identity -- ain't no crime, and if you're bi, then you know it's one of the most fabulous parts of your sexuality.
A little under 20 years ago, Bi Visibility Day began in the US to bring build conversation around one of the most underrated stripes of LGBTQIA rainbow.
Short for "bisexual", bi folks have received a lot of heat from both the gay and the straight community for not choosing a single-gender to date and sticking with it.
Loads of celebrity musicians, like Lady Gaga, Peaches, and Brian Molko of Placebo, have sung the praises of getting hot for a tight pair of pants and enticing personality regardless of what lies beneath the pelvis. But what does it mean to take your lip-synching and bedroom daydreams into the real world?
We've got the low-down on loving more than one gender, and what it means to be a proud, modern bisexual.
Simply put, being bisexual means having romantic and sexual feelings for people of the same sex and the opposite sex. These feelings extend beyond a spiritual or friendly draw to your gender.
You can be a female who loves women for their sensual curves and intelligence, or a guy who admires his male boss, professor, or mentor for his sense of style and knowledge, without being bisexual. It's easy to mistake a "crush" on your hero for bisexual feelings, which we'll touch on in a few paragraphs.
The most basic definition explains bisexuals as having equally sexy feelings for both men and women, which is a good starting point and certainly true for some folks, but not all bisexuals feel split straight-down-the-middle. Some bi guys only date women for the long-term, but occasionally mess around with guys, and the same goes for some bi women. Some women might casually date females, but wind up marrying a man.
No matter how you choose to split hairs, it's safe to identify as bisexual if you're intensely turned on by intercourse with your own gender. Bisexual guys and gals who settle down with the opposite sex are still bisexual. You're still attracted to both genders; you just chose a singular soulmate who happens to be opposite. And hey, if things don't work out, it's still totally valid to choose differently for your next relationship!
The key is in the latter half of the word "bi-sexual." If your feelings for the same sex don't cross over into sexual fantasies, then you might just be feeling deep love or friendship (which is great, too).
It's totally cool to have a "girl crush" or a "guy crush" on a friend or someone you really look up to and still be totally straight. You'll find yourself eyeing the way they confidently strut, decked out in a style that stands out and seemingly worshipped for their brains, beauty, or a combination of the two. But the thought of getting down to seriously dirty business is a bit much for you. In the case, you're not bisexual; you might simply be under the spell of an inspirational person. Enjoy it and model yourself after their best attributes.
However, if you're caught up in the thoughts of slowly unbuttoning their pants and giving them tender kisses on the neck and shoulders, you might be on the verge of finding your bisexual identity. Often called "bi-curious", you're in the beginning stages of deciding whether sleeping with someone of the same sex is something you'd like to try.
For example- some folks hook up for a night, check another notch off their bucket list, and move right on back to straight or gay sex. There's nothing wrong with a one-nighter as long as everyone involved knows this is probably a one-off thing. Similarly, you might get off to guy/guy or girl/girl porn, but you're not sure if taking things past a computer screen is getting too close for comfort.
You might also come away from that one-night-stand or porn marathon of same-sex scenes just knowing this is a fit for you. Like 90's hipster-pop star Peaches, you don't have to make the choice — I like girls and I like boys. In which case, congrats! You're bisexual!
Besides having your pals at b-Vibe right behind you all the way (yes, pun intended!), you've got lots of options for support.
Remember, the "B" in LGBTQIA means you — Bisexual — and some diligent Googling will lead you in the direction of nearby organizations and international groups that provide resources for budding bisexuals.
Coming out to your family and friends is totally up to you, and dependent upon your current status. Some bisexuals who prefer to only seriously date the opposite sex never reveal their true selves to the public. However, if you're suddenly head-over-heels for someone of the same gender, coming out might be the most liberating choice for incorporating your lover into your entire life. Whatever works for you, is the correct choice.
Take it slow when experimenting with new bi partners. Always evaluate and communicate your intentions up front, no different than you would with a straight partner. Hopping on Tinder or other dating sites is a great way to meet fellow bi-curious or bisexual peeps who are just as new to this thing as you. There's no harm in meeting up with another bi babe or dude for a date or a coffee. You might just find a new friend and another ally in the bi community.
Exploring your bisexual side is like discovering a whole new dimension to your sexuality. Identifying with this underrepresented yet open-minded group of people is like stepping through the door to self-growth opportunities. You'll come to share in the fight for social justice and the acceptance of all humans, and in the end, your unique part of the LGBTQIA rainbow makes the world a more colorful place.