Aftercare is the process that occurs after a sexual session has ended. It is as important as the act itself and can involve spooning, softly caressing the body, talking, or merely lying in silence.
Each individuals’ aftercare looks different based on their personal preferences or needs. Learn our five golden rules for anal sex aftercare.
Commonly referred to as rimming, analingus is the act of licking or "eating" the butthole. It can be incredibly useful as a means of foreplay or to relax the sphincter muscles before penetration.
Not sure how to get started? We asked the most renowned sex educators for their tips to put together this guide to analingus.
A series of beads, such as the b-Vibe Triplet or Cinco Anal Beads, that start small and gradually become larger. The intended purpose of anal beads, technically, is to insert all the beads entirely (although this isn't necessary) and then remove them upon climax. Each bead will stimulate the sphincter muscle on its way out. Due to their graduating size, anal beads also make a great warm-up or beginner toy.
An anal dilators is any toy with a narrow tip that gradually gets thicker and helps expand the external & internal sphincter gently. Dilators often come in sets or as part of an anal training kit, with various sizes to choose from based on what your body is prepared for or capable of inserting.
Anal dilators are great for warming up but also serve several health-related purposes. Here’s our comprehensive guide to anal dilators.
Anal massage is the act of stimulating the thousands of erotic nerve endings at the entry of the bum. Unlike anal fingering, which requires insertion, an anal massage focusses on the external sphincter muscles.
It’s a handy form of foreplay that can be particularly useful to arouse your partner and get them in the mood for anal intercourse. Anal expert Charlie Glickman shares his eight essential anal massage tips for beginners.
Anal training is precisely what it sounds like: it's taking the time, care, and necessary steps to help your body prepare for anal sex.
Anal training is just as effective solo as it is with a partner and can be an incredibly erotic experience. Have you mastered anal training?
How you worship is your business in the Faith of Ass, and ass worship can take on many forms. Some see it as a submissive act of BDSM in which a partner might lick, bite, massage, etc. their partner's ass.
Others might view ass worship as buying sexy underwear for their partner to wear and show off for them. Some might even take pictures of their ass to tease a partner or send a dick pic with a naughty mid-day text. There's no strict gospel when it comes to ass worshiping!
Listen, it's almost 2024, so we would be remiss if we didn't tell you what a belfie is. It's an ass selfie. You're welcome.
Now, do you share it with a partner while sexting? Or look at it to admire your ass? It's none of our business! It's a picture of your butt and you should do what you want with it. Just remember that you should never share someone else's belfie without their consent!
A body-safe sex toy is hypoallergenic and free of latex and phthalates. They tend to be non-porous to stop bacteria from harboring around. Silicone is arguably the best body-safe material, but others also include metal, borosilicate glass, wood, and ABS plastic for inch-perfect pleasure.
In general, sex toys have little to no oversight from the FDA — this means that many products in the market are made from chemicals or materials that can be irritating or harmful to your body. That's why it's essential always to buy body-safe sex toys.
Bondage, which is a key element of BDSM, is the sexual practice of restraining a partner or being restrained. This can manifest in the form of rope, bondage tape, or the classicly known handcuffs.
A term used for the person on the receiving end of anal play i.e. the person being penetrated. Or, quite literally, a reference to the butt! See also Top.
Read this guide on the roles for the hole to find whether you’re a top or bottom.
Blend of "boy + pussy" or "butt + pussy" used when addressing the butt as a sexual orifice.
Butt plugs — Any toy with a flared base that is inserted into the anus. They come in a variety of shapes and sizes, and some even have textures and shapes that create different sensations.
Does this pique your curiosity? Check out all the different types of butt plugs that are currently on the market!
One may wonder why the word communication appears in our anal glossary of terms. The reason is that comfortable, pain-free anal play relies almost entirely on it! Communication and consent go a long way in making sure that both partners are fully present and comfortable with what you are doing.
Many times a lack of communication is often the cause of uncomfortable, embarrassing, or even painful moments in the bedroom. Avoid that by making sure that you are asking the asks and telling the tells with your partner at all times. When it comes to anal play, there is no such thing as communicating too much.
Trying to talk your partner into anal sex? Read our tried and tested guide on how to talk to about anal sex.
The main part of the large intestine, which passes from the cecum to the rectum and absorbs water and electrolytes from food that has remained undigested.
The “come hither” technique is commonly used to describe a motion made with your pointer and middle fingers with regards to how to most easily stimulate the prostate gland.
If your partner is lying on their back, two inserted fingers and then a “come hither” motion will allow for direct contact with the prostate gland (or g-spot -- they are both about the same distance within the body, and both respond to the same type of massage and pressure stimulation!).
Learn the best-kept secrets on how to have a prostate orgasm.
Cuffing season is the period during winter when people seek out relationships due to depressing weather, social obligations surrounding Christmas - Valentine's Day, and the desire to stay warm inside with an attached person.
Barriers such as dental dams are like external “blanket” condoms. Thin sheets of non-porous latex (or non-latex) material laid on outer parts of the body that you want to stimulate orally, creating a safer-sex tool for oral sex.
A person who takes the dominant role during kink play and BDSM encounters.
A douche or enema is a tool that is used to send warm water into the rectum to flush out any lingering fecal matter. It isn’t required for anal play by any means, however, it can make people feel a lot more comfortable and confident with anal play in general.
IMPORTANT: Do not engage in body part related penetrative sex less than an hour after douching! Douching the rectum removes something called rectal mucosa from the lining of the rectum. This mucosa acts as a cushiony barrier between your rectal lining and the outside world and takes about an hour to recuperate. Penetrating before the mucosa regenerates may cause small internal tearing of the rectal lining, which in turn leads to discomfort as well as an increased risk of STI transmission.
Master how to douche properly like a pro.
A dildo is a term commonly referred to any sex toy with a phallic shape, sometimes used with a wearable harness. They are used for penetration and, unlike buttplugs, are easier to “thrust” in and out of the body due to the length of their body.
Dildos come in a variety of shapes, colors, and sizes, as well as more “realistic” looking pieces, compared to some more generic-looking alternatives.
External play is any type of sexual activity done outside the body. Oral sex on the genitals, analingus, or any type of skin stimulations is considered external play. Have your ever run ice down a partner’s neck? External play! Have you ever gone down on a partner? External play!
Defined as “an intense erotic attraction to a nonhuman object, a nongenital part, or a body secretion,” fetishes can take on many forms in the bedroom. Some folx get off on viewing their partner wearing sexy underwear, while others can enjoy being (consensually) spied on while masturbating. A fetish can manifest in numerous personal ways that would be impossible to define fully.
Tina Horn, a long-time dominatrix and sex educator, shares the complete guide to fetish sex.
Fingering is the act of sticking any number of LUBRICATED fingers into the butthole. You can use one finger to help relax the sphincter muscles in the butthole, which is incredibly useful for both partnered and solo play. Some people use fingers to work up to larger toys or body parts for penetration, while others enjoy poking around/being poked around with!
Not sure how to get started? Read one of our most-read guides (ever!) on anal fingering.
Anal fisting is the act of gradually (we are going to say that word again -- GRADUALLY) inserting a whole hand into the rectum. The sphincter muscles can relax pretty extensively with ample work, and this is entirely possible and incredibly pleasurable for many folks! There are even larger toys that can help recreate the sensation of a fist in the ass, as well as a host of other exciting sensations.
One of the most important features of any anal toy is a flared base. A flared base is when the bottom-most part of the toy is wider than any other part of the toy. This helps prevent the toy from “slipping” or being pulled inside the body, especially during the climax when the muscles are contracting and pulling inward.
The underside of your penis that connects your foreskin to the head of your penis. This extra-sensitive bridge of skin is constantly exposed if circumcised.
A hook-up.
noun
gā-bē
1. The child of a same-sex couple.
2. A newly "out" homosexual who is fresh to the LGBTQIA2S+ culture and is unaware of lingo and mores.
Many hear the term glass sex toys and think “NO WAY,” but glass toys are actually great for prostate stimulation! They are not made of typical glass as you find in your cupboard, but instead from reinforced glass such as the glass used in some cookware. This reinforced glass, otherwise known as borosilicate glass, is incredibly durable and is excellent at applying pressure to the prostate. It is also exceptional at retaining both warm and cold temperatures, which make them ideal for temperature play!
A golden shower, the act of urinating on another person for sexual pleasure, is one of many steamy practices under the urophilia fetish (aka: watersports, pee kink, piss play), meaning someone is sexually aroused by urine. Learn how to give or receive a golden shower in this complete guide for beginners.
Hygiene is the act of maintaining health and safety through cleanliness. Anal hygiene is essential for several obvious reasons, but specifically, when it comes to anal play, you are going to want to make sure that your sex toys (or partner) are cleansed before and after each use to ensure a spic n span play date.
Master everything there to know on anal hygiene and how to prepare for anal sex.
Internal play is any type of play that involves penetration. Using a buttplug, prostate massage, dildo, or any other sex toy to penetrate yourself or a partner is considered internal play.
Jelly toys specifically refer to a type of low-quality sex toy that contains numerous harmful and irritating chemicals. If you have ever purchased a new toy and got a major whiff of Barbie doll when you opened the box, that is a sign that the product contains rubber softeners known as phthalates.
Jelly toys are sold at significantly lower price points than other toys because they are made from accessible and cheap chemicals. These toys are NOT safe to use unless covered with a condom, and even then, the chemical smell the material gives off (also known as "off-gassing") might be too much for you to enjoy yourself. See Body-Safe Sex Toys.
Jelqing is a penis stretching exercise that's supposed to increase penile size, in both length and girth, leading to longer erections.
Kegel muscles are the muscles lining your pelvic floor, also known as the pubococcygeus muscles or PC muscles. This muscle set contracts when you climax, and like any other muscle in the body, the stronger it is the better it works!
Kegel exercises consist of contracting, holding, releasing, and repeating these steps back to back to strengthen these muscles. Often accompanied by some sort of weight toy, kegel exercises provide pleasure benefits in the form of stronger orgasms and several general health benefits such as helping those dealing with incontinence.
Lubricant a.k.a. Lube is another primary player when it comes to pleasurable, safer, comfortable anal play of ANY type. Lubricants come in various viscosities and compositions, ranging from water-based, silicone, oil, or even hybrid combinations.
Different lubricants are ideal for different scenarios. Let b-Vibe Founder Alicia Sinclair guide you on choosing the best anal lube.
Like glass toys, metal toys are excellent at retaining temperature and applying pressure to key parts of the body, specifically the prostate gland. They are non-porous and smooth, making them easy to clean and use. Since they are made of metal, they are also a life long investment since the material will not break down over time (or fall victim to your dog...hey, it happens!). And since they are so firm and heavy, they can also be used for external massage on tight muscles
We might be (slightly) biased but we’ve selected 5 stainless steel sex toys to become your ultimate partner for life!
Gender-affirming surgery that uses tissue from a hormone-enlarged clitoris to create a penis. This procedure maintains the erectile nature of the clitoris which allows for erogenous stimulation to be preserved.
Milking is a term used for stimulating the prostate gland in a specific manner. To milk the prostate means to massage it deeply when it is engorged. When a prostate-owner is aroused, the gland swells with seminal fluid, whereas when someone is not aroused it will be harder to find and lay flat against the interior of the rectum.
Pegging is the act of using a dildo, often with a strap on, to penetrate your partner anally. It is commonly referring to “a woman who performs anal sex on a man by penetrating his anus with a strap-on dildo” (via Wikipedia), but can be done by anyone!
Interested in some pegging fun? Sex educator Gigi Engle gives a 101 masterclass on pegging.
Surgery performed to remove all or part of the penis done for gender-affirming care or for treatment of cancer.
Affecting the area around the anus (Note: this is different than the perineum)
Although we are talking about Club Backdoor already, there is actually a secret side door to the party. The perineum a.k.a. The taint is the area between the butthole and the genitals, and for folks with prostates, pressure can be applied here to stimulate the prostate gland indirectly. This area will feel soft to the touch when the body isn’t aroused and become firm once the party gets started due to the PC muscles tightening.
Gender-affirming surgery which uses tissue from the arm or thigh to create a penis.
Pthatlates are chemicals used to soften rubber, and can often be found in many low quality sex toys. Phthalates are endocrine disruptors, and exposure to phthalates has been linked to breast cancer, developmental issues, a decrease in fertility, and more.
The prostate gland, otherwise known as the "P-spot," is inside the anus of individuals assigned male at birth. As someone becomes aroused, the prostate gland will fill with seminal fluid and create a "bump" that can be massaged with pressure in order to cause tremendous pleasure.
Circular motions with the tips of your finger, or "come hither" actions with your pointer and middle finger, can cause the prostate gland to be stimulated. One can even have an anal orgasm from prostate stimulation alone!
Massaging the prostate has several health benefits and can help significantly reduce one's risk of developing prostate cancer
Check out our most complete guide on prostate stimulation.
Commonly referred to as rimming, analingus is the act of licking or "eating" the butthole. It can be incredibly useful as a means of foreplay or to relax the sphincter muscles before penetration.
Not sure how to get started? We asked the most renowned sex educators for their tips to put together this analingus guide.
Pre-determined words or phrases used to either deter or stop specific actions during sex. For example, if someone pre-determines with their partner that their safe word is “banana,” using the word banana during sex means that whatever is happening at the moment should be stopped immediately.
Many people use safe words as an alternative to “no” or “stop” because some people actually like to say “no” and “stop” during heated sexual encounters, which can become confusing in the moment if the language starts to have multiple intents. A safe word would typically be a word that you wouldn’t normally be used in the moment, which can help facilitate clear communication in the heat of the moment.
If you experience discomfort after receptive anal sex, take a warm bath with Epsom salts. This will provide instant relief and help soothe the muscles.
Take a Sitz Bath for 10 to 20 minutes several times throughout the day, or use a warm compress. Drink plenty of fluids and eat fibrous foods to help make bowel movements less painful as you heal.
If discomfort or pain persists, see a doctor.
Sodomy is penetrative sexual intercourse involving the ass. Note that penetration is not required in order to have sex, or pleasurable sexual experiences with the ass!
Solo anal is any type of play that one does with themselves. This can range from inserting butt plugs, to a prostate massage, or “sitting” on a dildo. You don’t need toys for solo play though -- inserting fingers also counts!
Learn how to get started with solo anal masturbation.
Spanking is widely known as slapping an ass with a hand and can be used in various exciting sexual ways. From role-play to BDSM, or for just plain fun, spanking is a creative way to add a layer of stimulation on top of other anal activities
TIP: Try spanking someone who is wearing a buttplug for an extra UMPF to their experience!
Let's start off with one of the booty show's stars -- the rectal opening aka the anus aka the butthole. If the ass is a nightclub, the butthole is the velvet ropes and bouncer at the door. The butthole is lined with two muscles called sphincter muscles that require ample relaxing before you get to make your way to the dancefloor. These muscles are designed to be tight; however, they can easily be relaxed with foreplay, experimentation, and lube.
A person who takes the submissive role during play and BDSM encounters.
Temperature play is when any form of heated or cooled material is used on (or in) the body. It can range from using a piece of ice on a partner's neck, dripping candle wax down their back, or warming up a glass or metal toy in a bowl of warm or ice water before insertion.
A term used for the person on the penetrating or “giving” end of anal play. See also Bottom.
Twerking is the act of dancing in a sexually provocative manner, using thrusting movements of the bottom and hips while in a low, squatting stance. Although twerking has been made more commonly known recently, it is said to have originated in the early 1990s New Orleans "bounce" music scene. Researchers also found the word was first used in 1820, spelt twirk, to refer to a twisting or jerking movement or twitch.
Warmup is when you are preparing the body for penetration by loosening the sphincter muscles. This involves lube and can involve either a finger or a partner's mouth. Note that warmup CAN be apart of foreplay, but doesn't have to be -- some folx warmup by wearing a buttplug throughout the day when they know they will be on the receiving end of penetration later on!
