Get Your Fill: Why Gays Love Being Bred!
We're celebrating Pie Day by serving our favorite dessert, a cream pie. In this month's edition of Queeries, Bobby Box answers, "Why do bottoms love being bred?".
As someone who is rather active on "the apps," Sniffies has quickly emerged as one of my favorites. This is due, in part, to its anonymous, cruisy nature.
Anyone active on the app will instantly recognize how popular breeding sessions are. And interestingly, it's something I've never really seen discussed among the gay community apart from casual responses to what we're "into." Which, as we all know, tend to lack context, as communication on the apps is often brief, direct, and void of humanity. I say this in the most affectionate way.
That's why I decided to dedicate this month's column to the gay community's love of breeding, since, unlike our heterosexual counterparts, this procreational act serves no evolutionary purpose, presuming the parties participating are cis men.
What is breeding?
'Breeding' is a term used for cumming inside of a partner during bareback anal sex.
To gain insight, I polled my audience on social media because—surprise, surprise—there is absolutely zero research (anecdotal or otherwise) on the topic. Within seconds, enthusiastic responses came flooding in and I was able to distill the hundreds of messages into five theories.
It provides a deeper connection.
The most popular response by far is that breeding gives both parties a deeper sense of connection. "Even for a slight moment, [being bred] gives me a feeling of not being alone/without love and being desired," one person responded. "I love sharing that moment of orgasm while being connected," said another.
"If two people are in a relationship, breeding is romantic, providing a deeper connection," Dr. Lee Phillips, Psychotherapist and Certified Sex and Couples Therapist, says. "It is also erotic for the person receiving and giving because it turns some people on knowing they are being used and using someone as a cum dump."
While that last part might not sound like much of a "connection", the decision to fluid bond does make sex much more intimate, whether it's a one-night stand or a long-term relationship.
It feels good.
Sometimes, it's not all that deep (figuratively speaking), and we simply enjoy the physical sensation of a partner ejaculating inside of us. From the penis throbbing as it pumps streams of ejaculate into the body, to the "warmth" of the fluid (a popular adjective used by folks polled), to the wet and slick feeling inside the rectum, to the feeling of it dribbling out the anus slowly leaking onto the thighs. Folks who like being bred enjoy the experience from beginning to end. And even long afterward.
"Cum is slippery and wet, and people think this is such an excellent benefit for sex because it feels natural to have it in you," Dr. Phillips says. "There is a more significant release of oxytocin, which bonds the people to some degree and strengthens over time."
A few also noted they prefer being bred because they hate condoms. One respondent described the sensation as "dragging" while another claimed that no matter how much lube they use, condoms always give them fissures from anal.
It's the ultimate power exchange.
Another prevalent factor was the power exchange breeding provides folks who are aroused by a dominant/submissive dynamic. One submissive describes breeding as the "ultimate surrender," whereas another says, "It's intoxicating to absorb another man's orgasms into my body."
This is a shared sentiment on both ends of the dynamic. To give a submissive something they crave so badly, a part of you, is incredibly gratifying and a nice boost to the ego. One self-proclaimed dom says, "It feels powerful to give someone that experience. It's a gift I give them."
It's an intimate keepsake.
"Breeding goes beyond fluid bonding and cream pies," Dr. Phillips shares. "It can be emotional because the person feels they have a piece of the other person inside them, making them feel closer."
Phillips says many share the fantasy about the risk of getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, and that there is inherent eroticism about not wearing protection and not pulling out.
Many expressed that being bred lasts long after the fun is done, and serves as a primal reminder of the passion you shared. "I love carrying the load with me for hours after," one proud cum fetishist, shared. "It makes me feel loved and valued...and it's a reminder of that which lasts long after the sex," expressed another.
Some even cite expelling the semen into the toilet afterward as a ceremonious tribute to a job well done. Others simply like it because it's easy to clean up, especially for those who don't like the taste or mouth feel of cum.
It's a compliment.
A major component of sex is feeling desired and validated, so it makes sense that breeding is a testament to that. Being bred is regarded as an achievement in a way; warm, comforting evidence of your sexual prowess. "It is satisfying that I was part of someone ejaculating because they utilized my body to do so," one person responded. "It's the ultimate compliment to my body," mentioned another.
Sex can also be incredibly nerve-wracking, so the act can also make the other feel more comfortable. "Knowing someone has cum inside me when I'm bottoming helps me climax also," one said.
