Your body doesn't care whether the stress is because you’ve been stuck in traffic, you had a bad day at work, or you’re nervous about anal play hurting (especially if you’ve had uncomfortable or painful experiences with it before). The worry and anxiety can make the anus tighten up. That causes discomfort, which makes it tighten up more and causes pain.
That’s simply how bodies are wired and it doesn’t do much good to try to force it. Pleasurable anal play isn’t about making someone open up. It’s about helping them relax into it so their body wants to do it. Even someone who has a lot of experience with anal play can have a stressful day. So the fact that they could do it the last time doesn’t always mean that they can relax today. If you try to make your body or your partner’s body do more than it can do, you’ll probably train it to fear anal play and make it more difficult to enjoy.
This week's topic is Anal Anatomy, follow these links to read the rest of the series!
Part 1 - Two Rings of Muscle
Part 2 – The Physical Response to Stress
Part 3 – Taking Care of the Skin
Part 4 – Learning to Relax