Aftercare — the intentional care-taking of a sexual partner after sex, typically by the penetrating, partner on behalf of the receiver — thanks our partners for sharing themselves with us and reminds them that our concern for their pleasure and well-being doesn’t stop with the orgasms.
Though aftercare has been championed by the kink community, all sex involves an exchange of power. And anal sex, especially so. Anal pleasure has long been rooted in shame and taboo. This makes anal sex extremely hot, but also, extremely vulnerable. Learn why anal aftercare is just as important as having anal sex.
Anal sex aftercare doesn’t need to be overly sentimental or grand — it just needs to be an intentional display of appreciation and responsibility. Whatever you do, follow our aftercare general rule that the higher you fly, the softer you should pad the landing. While gently fingering someone’s ass during sex might require a simple “How’s your tush feeling?”, a long session of anal penetration will likely require much more. Here are our golden rules to anal sex aftercare:
The penetrating partner (sometimes identified as the Top) should recognize that their endorphins and adrenaline are likely to be lower than their partner who just received anal sex (the “receiver” or the Bottom). This means that the receiver may not yet be able to feel if they are sore or mentally present enough to ask directly for what they need as they bask in their after-sex glow.
Aftercare is most seamless if you’ve talked with your partner before anal sex, about what they typically like to have available after anal sex. If you don’t know your partner’s anal aftercare plan, giving them a hydrating drink (avoid alcohol) and a blood-sugar-raising snack (like a chocolate or fruit) are good choices.
Anal tissues are delicate and it’s normal for them to be a little sore after sex. Gentle baby wipes can easily clean up, while an Epsom salt bath can feel purifying, pampering, and practical for sore muscles.
Anal sex can make someone especially vulnerable. So, remind your partner about all the things you liked about having anal sex with them.
Reduce shame by chatting about everyday things you’d normally discuss while snuggling in bed and always ask if there’s anything else they need.
If your partner is new to providing anal stimulation and penetration, let them know what you loved, what you’d like to see more of next time, what you might change, and finish with a compliment.
The anus contains specific bacteria — unique to its ecosystem — that shouldn’t be shared with other orifices or surfaces.
Launder dirty towels, properly dispose of used latex barriers, and thoroughly wash your toys in soapy hot water.
The main reason why anal sex aftercare is important is that it’s an investment for your sexual future! The better you care for your partner, the safer they’ll feel in bringing sexual explorations to new levels.