Follow sex educator Dirty Lola on a journey of everything you need to know bout massaging the booty hole!
Walk into any sex shop, and you'll find an entire section dedicated to body massage because it's the perfect way to set the mood, and there are so many ways you can incorporate it into your sex life!
No matter where you land on the spectrum between Vanilla and Kinky, massage is the one act that can be utilized when getting to know a new person's body or as a deep dive into sensation and sensuality with a long-term partner. What I'm saying is massage is the gateway to intimacy in the bedroom, so it makes complete sense that an anal massage is also a great way to ease into anal fingering and penetrative sex.
I'm going to assume that you've already communicated your desire to give and/or receive an anal massage to/from your partner, lover, or FWB- because consent is super important! But, if you need help having that conversation, we got you. Check out our how to talk about anal guide.
Once that conversation is out of the way and everyone is on board, you'll want to start prepping your body with your usual pre-butt play hygiene routine. If you don't have a routine, you can find many helpful tips and tricks in b-Vibe's most popular guide on what to do before anal sex.
It's also a good idea for the person giving the massage to file their nails to make sure that they're nice and smooth. Sharp edges and delicate anal tissues do not mix.
While using massage oil is the way to go when giving or receiving a body massage, you'll want to swap that out for a good cushy water-based lube. Why water-based lube? Well, water-based lubes are all-purpose, meaning they're condom safe, unlike oil-based lubes, and safe to use with silicone toys, unlike silicone lubes.
So if you're planning to move from anal massage to anal sex without taking a break to wash up or if you're planning to use silicone plugs or vibes during the massage, it is a good idea to forgo the oil and silicone and stick with water-based. Oh, and don't forget your anal lube shooter to help get lube inside where it's needed most with less mess!
ANSWERED: Can you use coconut oil as lube?!
Finger gloves, AKA finger cots for sex, and hand gloves aren't just suitable for anal hygiene purposes. They also provide a smooth barrier that helps cut down on friction when combined with lubricant, and they smooth over sharp nails or hangnails.
Think of them as wet suits for your fingers and hands. While they serve the same purpose, finger gloves are best when only using one or two digits. When giving a more involved internal massage, it's best to use hand gloves.
Whether you are doing an external or internal anal massage, vibrators or butt plugs can be used to upgrade the experience.
A wand like the Le Wand Petite is the perfect size for an anal massage. The Petite wand's smaller head allows for direct stimulation to the perineum or against the base of a plug. In addition, its small size and lightweight body make it easy to maneuver during play. Add ten deep rumbly vibration intensities and six vibration patterns, and you get sensations felt inside and out. If you want to take vibration deeper inside for p-spot and g-spot stimulation, you can add the Petite Curve Attachment to the head of the wand. Just like that, your external vibe is an internal vibe.
If internal vibration is too intense for you, don't worry, you can still experience internal sensation by using a plug like the Snug Plug. The Snug Plug has two weighted balls inside that move with you to create ripples of sensations that move through your delicate tissues and inching you towards orgasm. The great thing is that the plug can be worn while other anal techniques are being used externally, and it's like an extra set of fingers!
If you don't want to search for all of these products separately, you don't have to! b-Vibe has already combined them for you in the Anal Massage & Education Set. The set also comes with finger and hand gloves, a mini reusable douche, a lube shooter, a clean-up towel, a travel bag, AND an education booklet with tips about everything from hygiene to anal aftercare.
Now that you've prepped your partner and your body and gathered your tools, we're ready to move on to techniques.
For external massaging, use the flat, fleshy part of your fingertips to apply varying amounts of pressure and avoid using the pointed tips of your fingers; otherwise, you'll end up poking your partner instead of massaging them. Once you've slipped on your gloves and liberally applied lube to the anus, begin by tracing a slow circle around it with one finger increasing your speed and pressure as you go.
Continue circling the anus; only this time make small tight circles around it. Like little loop de loops. Moving along, begin incorporating strokes directly across the anus with one to three fingers. More fingers mean more surface area is stimulated. Let your strokes morph into rubbing on the anus. This technique can also be done with one to three fingers. If you want to get both hands involved, try stroking down and away and upwards and out across the anus with both pointer fingers or thumbs.
Don't forget that a small vibrator like the Le Wand Bullet or the Petite vibrator can be used for external massage by mimicking the motions you made with your fingers with the vibe. A vibrator with a powerful rumbly motor can also stimulate the prostate from the outside of the body. Perfect for folks who aren't quite ready for anal penetration.
Even if you don't have a prostate, an internal anal massage can be pretty pleasurable. When going past the opening of the anus, you want to take your time and make sure that you've lubricated outside and inside (using your handy dandy lube injector). Work your finger or fingers in and out, stroking along the outer edges of the anal opening pressing your fingers into the muscle. Continue this motion while slowing moving your finger around the anus muscle like hands on a clock. Press your finger in deeper, slowly, but not past the second join. Going slowly gives the sphincter muscle time to relax around your finger and get used to the sensation.
The techniques above can be used to work up to prostate stimulation. For p-spot stimulation, you will insert your finger or fingers up to the second join and curl your fingers towards their belly button in a come hither motion. Be sure to use the fleshy part of your fingertips.
Butt plugs like the b-Vibe Snug Plug, Triplet Anal Beads, Cinco Anal Beads, and wand attachments like the Petite Curve and Ripple are great for internal massaging (if you're not up for using your fingers). Combining texture with vibration or weights with motion is a lovely way to experience an internal anal massage sensation.